Literary Lens: Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
Exploring the meaning of life and key takeaways from "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl
Connective Threads is a weekly exploration of science, technology, and philosophy threading together actionable insights on health, happiness, and human connection for a more intentional and fulfilling life.
In his deeply impactful book "Man's Search for Meaning," Viktor Frankl, an Austrian psychiatrist, takes us through the grim reality of his experience in Nazi concentration camps and into a deep exploration of the human spirit’s quest for purpose. Frankl believes that the primary drive in human beings is not pleasure (as Freud suggested) or power (as Adler suggested) but rather a search for our "meaning."
According to Frankl, life has meaning under all circumstances, even the most miserable ones. Through his own tough experiences and those of others around him, Frankl shows us how finding a sense of purpose amidst suffering significantly boosted one's chances of survival. His story powerfully affirms that the human spirit is incredibly resilient, managing to endure almost anything once it finds a reason to keep going.
Reflecting on Frankl’s ideas really made me think about the moments and choices in my life that have defined my sense of purpose. Reading this book didn’t just feel like learning about survival in extreme conditions; it felt like looking into a mirror that highlighted the times in my own life when I dealt with hardship and how powerful those times were in developing my purpose and how I approached the subsequent decisions in my life.
In today’s exploration, I’ll share the top five lessons from Frankl’s teachings that have influenced my perspective, and I plan to carry forward with my approach to life. These insights offer not just a framework for building a life with purpose but also a guide for handling tough times with courage and insight.
Today’s Journey
The discovery of my ‘purpose’
Top 5 Takeaways from “Man’s Search for Meaning”
The meaning of life & chess masters
You choose how you show up
Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue
Live for the second time
He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how
Conclusion
Let’s jump in.
1. The discovery of my ‘purpose’
In the first several explorations in Connective Threads, I mentioned that my purpose in life is to “Be the person you needed when you were younger,” a quote that I randomly discovered on Pinterest at the age of 20. However, I have never dug into the 2 key scenarios in my life to which I owe the deep resonance.
To me, “Be the person you needed when you were younger” has two key components: 1. Be the most authentic version of yourself, and 2. Make good choices you would want to model for the younger version of you.
The first scenario to follow was the catalyst for me coming out of the closet when I was 19.
It was my first ever ‘business trip’ with the University of Wisconsin-Madison to Magic Fashion Week conference in Las Vegas. I was enthusiastic about the opportunity to travel in a professional capacity and to expand my knowledge on retail and the business of fashion with several professors and a few other students.
I recall being in sensory overload and surrounded by industry professionals in a city that felt so unapologetically itself to me. It was inspiring and intimidating all at the same time.
On the second day of the conference, I took the time to attend a few panels about consumer insights, forecasting, and data analytics throughout the morning sessions. After lunch, most of the students and staff had returned to their hotel rooms for a break, but I decided to catch one last panel on trend forecasting by demographics.
I walked into the conference hall and sat down and looked up at the panel which was a female moderator and 3 male panelists. They went down the line and all did introductions, and as I listened closely, the woman referenced her wife followed by each of the men referencing their boyfriends or husbands. I realized it was the first time in my life that I was listening to a panel entirely lead by open LGBTQIA+ people who looked and sounded like me.
Having come from Wisconsin, I did not have much visibility to people that were LGBTQIA+. I had one key mentor that my mother had introduced me to at a young age who was instrumental in my growth, but there was only one openly LGBTQIA+ person in my high school who I saw as almost the polar opposite of me.
Having not had much visibility of the community while I was growing up, this was the first time that I had felt like my identity would actually be fully accepted and supported in a room full of people with similar goals and dreams as me.
While still sitting and listening to the panel, I recall texting my bestfriends Ellen and Anna and coming out of the closet for the first time to anyone.
I often look back at this moment and think about how powerful it was for me, but also how none of the people on that stage knew they had such an impact on me. They chose to get up there and talk about their husbands and wifes in a room full of industry professionals and did so as the most authentic versions of themselves.
This moment was a catalyst for the rest of my life, and to me highlights the power of visibility and authenticity.
The second scenario is less happy, but still an extremely important moment in my life.
The first openly LGBTQIA+ role model in my life was a really great gentleman that my mother had introduced me to at a young age. He was such an amazing guy and such a catalyst to my growth and acceptance of my own LGBTQIA+ identity. He was the first person who I had met who was a business professional, married to man, unapologetically himself, and extremely kind and thoughtful. He worked for several fortune 500 comanies, sat on the board of directors for several charities focused the wellfare of children, and spent a lot of his time thinking about how to add value to the world around him.
For the sake of anonymity, as this story is not great, I will refer to him as (A).
I had first meet (A) when I was 15 years old. My mother knew I was gay by the age of 2 (A big thank you to her psychic) and wanted to surround me with incredible people who would showcase the love and acceptance that would help me step into that identity, and (A) was one of the best.
(A) helped me get jobs, discussed my own career goals, and navigating life as an LGBTQIA+ person. We would often meet up if we ever overlapped in cities for lunch or dinner as he was always looking out for me. He was a key part of my life for 9 full years and I will always be grateful for that.
In 2020, I received a call from (A)’s husband telling me that he had been rushed to the hosiptal in New York City (where I was living at the time), and asked if I would go check in on him. (A)’s husband had english as a second language so he could not articulate the exact scenario very well, so I immediately headed to the hospital to check in on him.
Whe I arrived he was in the critical care until, and the doctors immedately swarmed me as I said who I was there to see. They had struggled communicating the severity of the situation to (A)’s husband over the phone due to the language barrier, so they had a lot to tell me.
(A) had been found in a hotel in NYC after having experienced a drug overdose. They managed to get his heart beating again after resuscitating him, but it had failed twice in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. He was in extreme condition, his husband was 3 hours aways, and I was standing there as a 24 year old having no clue what to do next.
I got on the phone with his husband and explained what happened. I proceeded to ahve the doctors explain to him that (A) had just overdose on crystal meth, they didn’t think he was going to make it through the night, and that he needed to find a way to get to New York as fast as possible.
I spent the next 4 hours sitting by the bedside of my biggest mentor in life, who had a ventilator down his throat, his brain was swelling, and doctors continuously walked into the room with fear in their eyes.
I recall thinking to myself how I could not believe how the person who I looked up to so much found themselves in such a situation. How I felt like I knew everything about (A), but there was clearly another side to his life that I had no idea about.
At about 2:00 am, (A)’s husband arrived at the hospital, and I let them have their time together and went back to my apartment. I decided to walk the 50 blocks home because of how overwhelmed I was and I also couldn’t stop crying.
(A) passed away next to his husband at 3:17 am that night.
He will always be someone who I hold in such high regard. His journey through the LGBTQIA+ community was very different than mine which is always something I have to remind myself. His generation experienced so much more stress, broader societal rejection, and daily uphill battles to just be accepted.
He walked so I could run.
I learned so much from (A), and this is a reason that I think this moment plays such an important role in my purpose for life. He was someone that I truly aspired to be like, but I did not know the whole story.
When thinking of “Being the person I needed when I was younger” and taking his legacy forward, I want to show up in the same authentic way as (A) and pursue my passions, give back to the community around me, and make young LGBTIQA+ people feel safe and seen when coming out. But, I also need to be able to take my learnings from this scenario and apply them. To be the person I needed when I was younger, I need to make choices even outside of the visible scene to ensure that I can set the example I want to for younger people. This is the reason that I do not drink, I do not do drugs, I am focused on my health and well being, I advocate for stress management, and I find ways (like Connective Threads) to share my insights on these practices and get better every day.
I will always hold (A) in the highest regard and give him the utmost credit for helping me be the person that I am today.
“Be the person you needed when you were younger” will guide my decisions every day to ensure I show up as the most authentic version of myself and make choices that the younger version of me would need to see in order to believe he could lead a healthy, happy, and fulfilled life.
This purpose is uniquely personal to me, and for good reason. For people to find their purpose in life, it is important to look at the most transformative or important moments when you reflect on your lived experiences. The specific moments that stick with you over time are engrained in your neural pathways as your brain’s way of saying, “This is important, and we need to remember this.” Taking those moments and unpacking them can be a great starting point for you to step into your purpose and meaning in life.
2. Top 5 Takeaways from “Man’s Search for Meaning”
“Man’s Search for Meaning” was recommended to me by someone whom I had met for the first time recently. It was over dinner, and we had progressed from me asking if I was pronouncing his name right all the way to the meaning of life, in which case he recommended this book to me as he said it was one of the most transformative books he has ever read. It is not often that an initial conversation with someone progresses this deep so quickly. I could tell it was the universe signaling that something was aligning and that I should explore it more, so I quickly got to reading the book.
I won’t lie, I struggled through Part 1 of the book. It took me nearly 3 weeks (it’s only ~100 pages) as it outlines a lot of detail in concentration camps that is horrific. Still, it is extremely important to understand the magnitude of the situation before Frankl dives into the psychiatric principles derived from his experiences. Once I got to Part 2, I was arriving in Lake Como, Italy for a solo, deep-reflection weekend and it was the perfect time to read the concepts presented and finish the book.
The meaning of life & chess masters
“ I doubt whether a doctor can answer this question in general terms. For the meaning of life differs from man to man, from day to day and from hour to hour. What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life in general but rather the specific meaning of a person’s life at a given moment. To put the question in general terms would be comparable to the question posed to a chess champion: ‘Tell me, Master, what is the best move in the world?’ There simply is no such thing as the best or even a good move apart from a particular situation in a game and the particular personality of one’s opponent.” (Man’s Search for Meaning, Page. 108)
This passage in Man’s Search for Meaning was the first time I really thought deeply about how much someone’s meaning or purpose could (should?) change over time.
He underscores a central theme in his existential philosophy: the fluidity and individuality of life's meaning. He challenges the notion of a one-size-fits-all answer to what life means, asserting instead that meaning varies not only from person to person but also from moment to moment.
Frankl’s view challenges us to continuously explore and define what is meaningful based on our current situations and personal growth. It suggests that we have a dynamic engagement with life, where the quest for meaning is an ongoing, responsive process that we are tailoring to our life story and circumstances. This perspective fosters resilience, empowering individuals to navigate life’s complexities with a sense of purpose that is both personal and adaptable.
Although I am clear on my current purpose, this passage had me wondering when it will change and why. I plan to live in the present and not spend time thinking about the future, but I love the idea that one day, I might have a completely new purpose and be able to add value to the world around me from a new perspective.
You choose how you show up
Depiction of Stoicism in the 21st century influencing sustained happiness. “Man is not fully conditioned and determined but rather determines himself whether he gives in to conditions or stands up to them. In other words, man is ultimately self-determining. Man does not simply exist but always decides what his existence will be, what he will become in the next moment.” (Man’s Search for Meaning, Page. 131)
This passage resonated deeply with me as it parallels one of my favorite Stoic concepts: “You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control how you respond to it.”
Frankl is emphasizing personal agency — the capacity to choose your response in any given set of circumstances. We are called to engage with our specific situations, making choices that reflect both our personal values and their unique challenges. Frankl’s philosophy suggests that meaning is something actively constructed, not passively received. This active engagement, I believe, is crucial for finding personal meaning. We see this style of agency and active decision-making in many types of philosophy, not just in existentialism and stoicism but also across the board, from pragmatism to critical theory.
When I see patterns of principles across philosophical theories, it reminds me that we are all more alike than we are told and the commonalities of living a good life are much more attainable that often perceived.
Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue
“To the European, it is a characteristic of the American culture that, again and again, one is commanded and ordered to “be happy.” But happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue. One must have a reason to “be happy.” Once the reason is found, however, one becomes happy automatically. As we see, a human being is not one in pursuit of happiness but rather in search of a reason to become happy, last but not least, through actualizing the potential meaning inherent and dormant in a given situation.” (Man’s Search of Meaning, Pg. 138)
This passage resonated with me for several reasons: 1. Since I moved to London, many Europeans have always told me I’m “so American” for always finding reasons to be happy or for finding the positives in situations. 2. I really resonate with happiness as a byproduct of setting your life up to be happy by striving for a greater good or your own purpose.
Frankl's statement essentially encourages a shift from seeking happiness as a goal to cultivating it as a natural outcome of living a purpose-driven life. This perspective not only offers a more sustainable path to personal satisfaction but also aligns with a broader, more philosophical understanding of how humans best feel fulfilled.
Live for the second time
“The third aspect of the tragic triad concerns death. But it concerns life as well, for at any time each of the moments of which life consists is dying, and that moment will never recur. And yet is not this transitoriness a reminder that challenges us to make the best possible use of each moment of our lives? It certainly is, and hence my imperative: Live as if you were living for the second time and had acted as wrongly the first time as you are about to act now” (Man’s Search for Meaning, pg. 150)
This passage resonates deeply with me as my one fear that I will always grapple with is death. The only thing that a doctor knew with 100% certainty when we were born was that we one day would die.
I always consider death a catalyst for living a good life full of happiness, fulfillment, and deep and meaningful connections. In that same breath, I think about when I will be old, look back on my life, and ask, “Am I happy with how it all panned out?”
When I do that exercise right now, I can say with 100% certainty that I am happy. I have loved openly, put my energy into something greater than myself, and experienced the fruits of life, but the true test will be whether I can maintain this focus and philosophy for the rest of my life. So, with that, I hope to keep Frankl’s words in the back of my mind as I continue to build a beautiful life.
As Epictetus said, “If your choices are beautiful, so too will you be.”
He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how
There is much wisdom in the words of Nietzsche: “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.” I can see in these words a motto which holds true for any psychotherapy. In the Nazi concentration camps, one could have witnessed that those who knew that there was a task waiting for them to fulfill were most apt to survive. (…)
Thus it can be seen that mental health is based on a certain degree of tension, the tension between what one has already achieved and what one still out to accomplish, or the gap between what one is and what one should become. Such a tension is inherent in the human being and therefore is indispensable to mental well-being. We should not, then, be hesitant about challenging man with a potential meaning for him to fulfill. It is only thus that we evoke his will to meaning from its state of latency. (Man’s Search for Meaning, (p.104-105)
The above passage, in my perspective, is central to Frankl’s final thesis and his subsequent development of logotherapy, which emphasizes finding personal meaning in life as the primary motivational force for human beings.
This notion became profoundly evident in the camps, where Frankl observed that those who clung to a sense of purpose, such as a task awaiting them or a loved one to reunite with, often managed to survive the brutal conditions. This observation underscores logotherapy's core premise—that the primary drive in human beings is not pleasure or power, but a search for meaning.
Frankl argues that proper mental health is maintained not by achieving a state of comfort but by living in a dynamic tension between one’s current reality and fulfilling one’s potential. This tension, he suggests, is essential for psychological well-being and stimulates the human spirit to overcome challenges and strive toward meaningful goals. Frankl’s philosophy, forged under the most extreme conditions, offers a powerful message on the human capacity for resilience and the importance of finding purpose in life, no matter the circumstances.
3. Conclusion
Frankl’s book “Man’s Search for Meaning” is a deeply profound book that I would encourage anyone to read, whether they are clear on their purpose or are looking to take a step forward in determining their true purpose in life.
Once I was clear on my purpose of “Be the person you needed when you were younger,” my life began to align in all areas—my career in venture capital creating LGBTQIA+ visibility and representation through business, my ability to run an LGBTQIA+ scholarship program for students connecting them with mentors who can help them navigate hard situations (the way that (A) did for me), and feeling confident in making healthy decisions on a day-to-day such as being alcohol-free, plant-based, and being focused more on building a foundation for a good life than trying to fit any mold that society has portrayed as ‘successful.’
I want to thank you for taking the time to read this exploration. I hope you feel encouraged to explore your personal meaning or purpose on this planet and be intentional about how you want to show up in the world.
I look forward to exploring with you next week.
With intention,
Brian
Link to purchase the book: https://dauntbooks.co.uk/shop/books/mans-search-for-meaning/